After adding many people to my followers blogs, I have come to realization that maybe my life isn't as crazy and weird as I thought it was. I was browsing through a lot of other moms blogs and realize, my struggles are of course not only my struggles everyone deals with them, but my thing is, many people who deal with my struggles are able to deal with them WITH their partner. I on the other hand, deal with it alone. I of course accept this and take it on as it were the world, but here's my confusion. How come moms ( mostly moms I see there are some dads ) but how come us single moms don't make our children on our own, but yet we deal with the struggles on our own? How is this fair? My childrens biological fathers pick them up every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends of the month. Most of the time this equals to 4 days a month and 4 nights a month, and on the odd months when there are 5 weeks, it equals to 6 days and nights. How is this fair? I love my children, but sometimes it is so hard to be able to get anything done, or accomplish anything when I have my children ALONE 27 days or 21days a month, compared to their 4 or 6.
Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I will sacrifice my entire world for them, but when thinking about things how is this fair? I wake up every morning, make breakfast for my children, sometimes eat for myself, then get myself dressed, then get my kids dressed, brush all of our teeth, do the hair, get the shoes on, get the stuff ready for my sons backpack for school, get the stuff together for my daughters bag at the sitter and give my son his medications and then finally head out the door. I drop my son off at school, take my daughter to the sitter, head to work, then I leave work to go pick my son up from school, drop him off at the sitter then I head back to work, then my mother picks my kids up from the sitter and between 630-700pm I get off work and go pick my kids up and start out nightly routine. Cooking, cleaning, laundry(three times a week) showers, brush teeth, read a story to the kids, tuck them in and then finally able to relax a little and then off to bed myself. Then the next day off to the same ol' routine. NOW please someone inform me how is it fair for me to do all of this ALONE when their biological fathers wake up, go to bed, shower, eat, use the restroom, go out, etc.. whenever they please??? I didn't make these children alone, so why do the biological fathers just settle to care for them 4 or 6 days a month?? Don't get me started on the fact their child support barely covers anything.
NOW let me make this very clear, my daughters father is very supportive as far as money goes. if I struggle and need something extra that month to cover one of the bills, if he can afford it he willingly gives it to us, and this is outside of his child support. He also, splits babysitter fees with me outside of his child support each month. He is a very supportive father, but my complaint is he as well as the sperm-donor for my son, are just free and get to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and have no care if the world. When I sit her and every step I take, every decision I make, I think of my children first. I don't go out and party, I don't drink anymore, I don't have friends over. So, my focus is only on my children. Now I don't mind that because I've always been this type of person prefering to stay at home, but sometimes I just need a night or morning without stressing over everything. The biological fathers do not stress the way I do, if they lose their car, or house, or lights get cut off, or don't have enough food, or not able to go clothes shopping that month, it is okay and not that HUGE of a stress for them because they don't have to worry about the kids FIRST. This might be running around in circles, and might just be coming off as looking for a pity party, but let me clear this all up, I do not want pity, I dont want sympathy I just plain ol' jane need to let it all out and lift this stress off my chest.
Until next time
xoxo
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