Today is my baby girls 4th birthday. For the past 2 days & today being the 3rd day I've been thinking about how she came into this world 4 years ago. I went into labor with babydaddy on New Years Eve, we went to the hospital and that is where I stayed until January 2nd. I had no pain meds, was having some crazy contractions, had a few of babydaddys family members in the room and all I wanted was to make sure babygirl was okay. I knew she was early, we were trying to keep her in. I continued to tell babydaddy to go to work because I didn't think anything would happen, well on the 3rd day, I shouldn't have told him to go to work. My placenta ruptured and my doctor wanted the emergency c-section immediately. I was calling babydaddy and all he could do while waiting was pace at work, lol. He got the phone call and hurried to the hospital, my mom brought my son up to see me, thankfully because I needed to see his sweet face to know it would all be okay. I was rushed into the surgical room, got the spinal tap and as my doctor cut me open he said " aw look she's looking up into the world " babydaddy jumped up and saw babygirl looking up into the world while still being inside my belly. Such a sweet little blessing, then of course she was rushed off to NICU and the struggle began.
I don't want to go into detail with all of our struggles, but all I want to remember is that my babygirl is now 4 years old, almost fully healthy and ready to fight the world. She is with her daddy right now, but I will be calling soon to sing to her even though I'll be seeing her tonight.
I stayed the night at my parents last night, because I ate our cabbage, black-eyed peas and pork with my parents. By the time we were done eating and conversig I was to tired to do drive home. My parents have this dog who is just wild, he kept eating at my little sisters robe, and was attacking my hair trying to eat it. HAHA the good ol' crazy times.
I had a little bit of struggles last night within myself, but I will accomplish them. Like I said in my first post, sometimes I miss him and want it all to be the way it use to be, but I accept it the way it is. He is currently on probation and doesn't want anything to jeopardise messing up his probation and didn't want his Probation officer finding any reason to put him into jail. I see this as just a cop-out so that he can still live at home with his mom and still be taken care of because she does everything for him. It makes me very angry that he can't live with the family he chose, the family he made, but he can just continue living at home like a little kid and not take on the challenges in life. BUT like I said I deal with it and accept it how it is, just don't like the struggles sometimes.
until next time
xoxo
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